Well, my celfone is officially out of order. The technician said there was a short circuit or something caused by overcharging or probably from getting wet. It'll take three days before finding out if they can fix it so I'll be left incommunicado(<-tama ba to) for that duration...which would include my birthday...haha(huhu)<-schizo talaga. Oh well, I may not get my birthday greetings but that means I wouldn't be obligated to treat them either...wehehe. Win some and you lose some.

So after I had my cellphone diagnosed, I decided to watch a movie. I'm not particularly fond of disaster movies but I decided to watch "The day after tomorrow"...since there really wasn't any other choice(except for shrek2...but there was a long queue). It wasn't a bad movie and I was actually surprised as to how many people actually came to watch it too. It had that "Independence Day" feel to it since they are actually from the same makers. I've noticed that these type of movies always have an emphasis on the white house or the president...you know, that they hold these positions and people in power in such high regard. I guess I just can't relate being a Filipino, especially when having the whole political scenario here is like having one big circus show. If there would be any movie that would include Philippine politics at present...it would no doubt be a comedy.

I've got twenty four hours more befroe i turn twenty two...i guess that's why i can't get sleep. or maybe it's because it's my enrolment in just a couple of hours from now...new life and such. I'm excited and scared...haven't felt like this since my first day of high school...which could be a good sign afterall. I don't really recall any strong feeling of anicipation or excitement when I first enrolled in UP. Hmmm, oh yeah...while watching the movie earlier...i was kinda reminded of why i wanted to be an architect as a kid. I didnt really think about making houses for people, just making my own house in particular. Always wanted to have a house like...ehem...batman's. You know, with all those secret passages and cool trap doors that even the wife and kids won't know about. And of course, as a kid...i was enamored by the thought of inevitable world war and wanted to design my own bunker and tunnel ways in which mankind would survive after the holocaust. haha, crazy kid!

Hmm...i guess i'll end it here for now. Have some other stuff to finish:)

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for." (John Lubbock).

It's a crazy day for me today...everything has something wrong with it. My computer has been hanging all morning and my celfone isn't turning on. There's probably something wrong with the battery or the charger. Di tuloy ako makainvite for my birthday...maybe it's Gods way of saying di nalang ako magblowout, hehe. Hmm, so here I am, typing some papers and blogging in some cafe instead. There's a kid beside me and he's playing some game where US president Bush kills terrorists who try to attack the white house...haha, it's so funny...the games these days. Namiss ko tuloy pagkabata ko (O! bawal magcomment sa age ko:p)
hmmm...the kids playing another cool game...Gun Bound ata ang title. I can't concentrate on my blogging coz the games are so amusingly distarcting, hehe. So TTFN!

My lousy social skills
scenario 1

guy waits arounds in some cafeteria for the dinner he just ordered when he spots a familiar face and pretends not to notice her...

girl: oi, don fruto...hi...

guy: ei, hi...

girl: kumusta na?

guy: ...uhm, ok lang...

girl: graduate ka na ba?

guy: (waves a shaky hand with matching dumb look)

girl: ahh...alam mo ba pangalan ko?

guy: (looks even dumber)...

girl: Gwen...sa Kalayaan...

guy: aahh...tama...(still looks dumb)

eats dinner awkwardly, then leaves without saying goodbye.

scenario 2

venue:kalayaan dormitory
guy sits by a staircase looking outside, then a girl sits beside him...

girl: Hi,... may problema ka ba?

guy: Uhm, wala naman...

girl: mukha ka kasing malungkot. Ako nga pala si...

-both parties introduce themselves and have a warm conversation. The girl keeps the guy company till his ride arrives about an hour later. The guy bumps into her a week later and doesn't even say hello (l-o-s-e-r).

scenario 3

...to be continued


"act like everything depended on you, pray like everything depended on God"- honest abe

Oh boy, classes and enrolment are just around the corner. Considering that I'll be walking into a new phase in my life and not just a new semester, I really think I need more than 5 measly days of a summer vacation. But i really don't have a choice in the matter but at least I went to Tarlac for a couple of days and that would have to do. Of course the reason for the latter was somewhat obligatory but I had a lot of fun. The place we stayed in had a pool and though it was kinda small I enjoyed the chance to dip myself into water. Would have wanted to do some night swimming too but was already too dang tired. The next day though was far more enjoyable coz all 'business' matters were done the night before and we (the few who remained) were free to tour around the city, care of our generous host kooky:) We went around visiting every mall (or the closest thing they have to a mall) in the place and played in the arcades like a couple of kids, haha. Hands down to Ken when it comes to versus games, but someday...i'll beat him to a pulp. Then in the afternoon, when we had our fill of food and video games, we played billiards and continued the crazy '20 question' game from the night before. Though it probably went beyond twenty coz we did the whole bonding session bit from that time, till we were enjoying halo-halo and pancit malabon(the best ones i've ever tasted too) and even until we were in the bus heading back home. Though the game for me is largely uncomfortable, it never fails to amuse me in the sense that I get to a chance to see as to what it is that maybe makes people tick and I get some negative/posotive feedback about myself as well...though change for is something that would prove slow if not improbable, hehe. I'm pretty sure that we were all bushed when we got back home. I even skipped dinner and just hit the hay coz I was reeally sleepy...pero naligo muna ako, hehe.

Now that I've somewhat come to some kind of conclusion to some of the angst and stress of the past, my real problem is to not think too much of the future and how far the road I have to travel will be. I just gotta stay in the present moment and take every thing a step at a time. I guess i'll get there when I get there.

I've still got a lot of plans, now more than ever. I just hope this time around...they don't just stay as 'plans'.

I'm turning twenty two in a couple of days...and still no ferrari...haha. maybe next year:) Hmmm, i think it's time i sticked to my resolutions.


" a man who hates himself still has respect for himself for hating himself"-some philosopher

Summer class is officially at an end but I still have a couple more of exams to worry about(or should worry about). I feel like watching a movie but I really shouldn't coz I really don't have the money to spare, but that fact has never stopped me before...hehe. So it's likely that I'm off to the nearest mall when I'm done here. My parents so far have been giving me the silent treatment ever since I wrote the 'letter', so I have still no idea what their reaction is to everything I wrote in there. They probably didn't know how to react either...I guess I wrote some pretty heavy stuff. But my mom sent me an inspirational message just the ysterday...so I really don't know whats up with them. oH WELL, I have till sometime next week to decide what road I'm gonna take...decisions decisions...and all i really want is just a bar of chocolates..sniff.

Hahahaha...been browsing friendster and LAETITIA CASTA(my dream girl) has an account! Hmm...I wonder if it's really her...invite ko nga...hehe. I know, i know...it's pathetic...but any woman who can reduce any man to this state is a force to be reckoned with and should be respected(or worshipped!);p

ehem... sorry about that.

Hmmm, well, admiring celebrity 'impossible-to-be-with' types hasn't really been my thing. Just 'impossible-to-be-with-period'...hehe. I remember the first girl who ever made my realize that twisting insides wasn't necessarily a medical disorder of any sort. I remember seeing her for the first time on my first day of school back in high school. She and one other were the only ones already in a school uniform while the rest of us were still in civilian clothing. She had long and really black hair with one of those teeth thingies that girls put in their hair to keep it in place. Even from the back view...she was eye catching...I guess the right shampoo really helps, hehe. I remember that her 'love-team' was one of my closest buds in class and just for fun we would sometimes compete with ideas on how to win her over (haha, stupid freshmen kids!). Unlike my friend, I really wasn't planning on doing any of that stuff...I guess I enjoyed the thought that I was giving him a run for the money, haha...feeling! But I definitely wouldn't forget the first Friday mass we had in school...which drove my friend insane...coz she sat beside me. I'm usually very attentive at mass but I couldn't help but get anxious about the part where we sing Our Father, it's the part where...ehem...we're all suppose to join hands(;p). I tried but couldn't help but think of how nice her hand felt (God forgive me!). I remember that I really couldn't muster a coherent sentence when I'm around her...someone finally got me to shut up. And I remember one time, when I was alone in an empty classroom playing the piano. She arrived with her bestfriend, sat beside me and we played a duet of 'Blue Moon'. I remember the first school party and I had decided to ask her for a dance, but before I could find her...i found my 'conservative' parents and they dragged me outta there. They said there will always be a next time. There never was. You see, after that night I resigned to never ask anyone for a dance again and that was the last time I would ever dance 'willingly' in public again...up until 4th year college. I don't really remember the logic behind that promise but it stuck even during 3rd year and 4th year prom. I guess I had decided to love her in secret and fom a distance...for reasons that i would probably expound some other time (more likely never). There are too many things that I remember about her. I guess you never forget your first and though there were two others I met along the line, I don't think I'll meet anyone ever again who could have such a strong effect on me. She still crosses my mind every now and then (obviously), and somehow, unconsciously, she will always me the meter to measure anyone else who comes along. Simply because it was her face that love chose to wear the first time it knocked on my door(drama!)

*bangs head on the wall*


.

Hmmm...I wish it were february again...coz that means the UP Fair would be around and that would give me enough reason to romp and stomp through the UP grounds till the wee hours at a relatively safer circumstance than most ordinary UP nights. I wouldn't care if it would be raining... so as long as I get to walk around and think...but I prefer it would be a starlight sky. I don't know what it is about the night air and i like the feeling that i have to dig my hands in my jacket pockets to keep them warm. I guess I'm just a night person...I get to do my best thinking at the end of the day when I've done all the damage I could do for one day and hope that maybe tomorrow i'll be better at this thing called life. Ha! i'm twenty one and already I sound like someone from mid forties...man... i have got to lighten up! Hmmm, (remembering my current situation)that would prove largely difficult,ehe.
I can't believe that I'm gambit in that flawed 'x-men character test'...no way! He's no good... I should be wolverine! My blog site sez it all! Well, it could've been worse...at least I didn't come out as cyclops(I just really hate this guy). Oh yeah... I don't think I've ever explained why I'm such a wolvie fan and why I've practically adorned this webpage with his images. Okay, okay, so here goes:

Wolverine's real name is James Howlette...goes by the name logan coz he doesn't really remember any personal details about himself (I guess you'd forget stuff too if you were over a hundred and twenty years old). He's a mutant with the power to heal any wound, has heightened senses and is in top physical shape... but his stuck with the berserker rage that keeps him from having too many friends and fewer enemies (only coz they end up in body bags).
First of all, it would really suck to live the life he leads. Sure he's the best there is at what he does...but despite that fact, being the best just doesn't cut it. Coz time and time again, no matter how good you are...you'll never ever really be good enough. He has spent a lot of his time burying his loved ones and what sadly never escapes his memory was his inability to protect them. Sure, he can heal himself from practically any wound and has so far proved to be unkillable. But, unlike most superhereos who are invulnerable or something of the like... he bleeds, he hurts, he gets battered, broken and burned...and feels every amount of physical pain most people have the privilege of dying from. Then he gets better just in time to bury more of his friends so that tomorrow he goes through the same vicious cycle again. He is ever the samurai that longs for honorable death which always escapes him. And his luck with women is practically the same. They either get killed or end up with another guy. The last real relationship he had was with the Japanese lady named Mariko(they were betrothed)...whom he killed with his own claws coz she was dying from an assassins poison and begged him to give her a quick death.
But despite all the tragedy in his life, and the animal he locks within...he has always been one of the baddest good guys in the history of comicdom. His honor and loyalty is unquestionable. A man who will never give up fighting. But the most enviable trait i find with this character is his free spirit. No one and nothing can contain him. If he doesn't like you, he'll say it to your face. If he things you're beautiful...he'll say it to your face. Honesty isn't a problem with this guy...he says what's on his mind and goes where he wants to. I wish I could be more like that. Not to worry too much about disagreeing with people for the most part and being generally polite. I'm probably not making much sense...which isn't a new thing mind you. SO I'll end this with one of my favorite quotes of the old canucklehead.

"i started this year with a rather ambitious goal. To be the best there is at what I do...and find out what that is. It ain't gonna be easy, nothing of value ever is."

Just watched the movie Troy the other night. All i can say is that all that fuss for a girl wasn't worth it...no matter how beautiful she is, not that I thought she was(Brad pitt was prettier than her, hehe). Besides, it's such a stupid thing I think that 'love' would be used as something to justify a war. Kinda like the ageless notion that a brawl between two testosterone packed men would prove who deserves to get the girl(s)...sheesh(though sometimes true in reality). Now, the only sensible male character in the movie is Hector...and true enough, good guys get to go to heaven. But I like his motto: "Honor the gods, love your woman,and love your country"...too bad he's too good a son and brother that he ends up giving his life protecting the dumb trojan tactician generals and the lousy excuse of a love team of Helen and Paris. I mean, the war was supposedly because of these lovers...but they barely registered(My hamsters would have had more on screen chemistry than they had). Hmmm...I just came upon an interesting tidbit, Achilles cousin was also his lover pala...that's why it really pissed him off that Hector killed him, hehe...Greeks. Generally though, it's a great movie...unless you were someone who actually read Homer's illiad...then i guess you'd be reeeeeally disappointed.

Hmmm, it's the last week of summer class and I have to read some tagalog book and write a reaction paper...grrr. I hate papers in tagalog...I always end up with very elementary sentences. Oh well, at least it's comforting to think that this would be the last Tagalog class I would ever have to take, yiheee!

I take back my second sentence in this entry... there is a girl who's worth all the fuss. But if it plays out,I wouldn't know if I would be one of the trojans or one of the greeks. I guess I'll never know.

I got time to kill since I just got back from my interview, but I have to go back before twelve coz I have to take a mental ability exam or something like that. I've been allowed to take the talent test too (yiheee!), which will be this wednesday but I have to make good coz out of 300 candidates, they're just gonna accept 60 applicants...hoo boy.

Went to intramuros yesterday as a favor to a friend but I actually enjoyed the trip. It was my 4th time there but it was my first time to discover that there are actually sights to see in that place...cool sights to see. Next time I get there, I'll be sure to bring a camera...hehe.

My dad left yesterday to start at his new job as the head honcho in some university in Cagayan de Oro and my 2nd eldest brother is already in Bukidnon to start working as full-fledged doctor. That means my mom's gonna live by her lonesome by June since my other brother is leaving for the law bar review and exams...poor mom. She tends to get paranoid when she's left alone.

....

To shift or not to shift...that is the question. True, I'm on my fifth year and they I should think of how much time I wasted I shift. If I don't shift, I think of how much more time I'll end up wasting. I've kinda resolved that I won't end up the practicing architect (a big 'if ever') and will definitely take another course afterwards. But that probably won't work so I can't see anything wrong with having to shift now...except that most of my classmates will be mostly 5 years younger than me(which is both good...and bad, hehe). Hmm...I have to get back now, have to take the mental powers exam thingy:)

...maybe I should be a cop nalang...guns, cars, one night stands and a funeral by age thirty,hehe...

Well, here I am again with the hard to find zzz's...have to wake up early later though. I guess there's just a lot on my mind and instead of thinking of these things at day hours like most people do, I end up with crazy thoughts and impulses on odd hours of the night. Oh well, one day I'll really get into trouble with these bad habits.
I'm trying to gear myself for this monday's interview in the college of Fine Arts. I haven't even consulted wit my parents about my plans to shift yet. I'm not really feeling guilty about it. I'm looking at it as a way of keeping my options open. Hmm..i really should be going home know coz...uhm...there are people pestering me.


SEVEN irksome THINGS
1. When mother nature's calling and it's raining outside. (my room is separeted from the building with the toilet)
2. Cockroaches buzzing around the room when you're about to sleep.
3. Piled up laundry and dirty socks.
4. Pesky neighbors.
5. Finding out there's a hole in your pants.
6. Loooooong queue's.
7. Your mom talking about your childhood bloopers to her friends...and my friends as well.

FIVE things THAT GOT ME INTO TROUBLE
1. When I was 4 years old, I was usually made to sleep at around two in the afternoon...Even though I didn't want to. One day, I feigned sleep and was able to creep around the house when I was shocked to see our maid taking a bath with the door open...it was my first time to see a naked girl.

2. When i was in grade 1, I unwittingly disclosed that my older brother, already in grade 4, was still uncircumcised. I didn't know back then that it was such a sensitive issue.

3. In third year high school, i wanted to consult with a teacher of mine regarding the school paper. I waited for her outside her office and when she came, I asked if I could talk to her. She seemed to be preoccupied and absent-mindedly said yes. So I followed her to her office and was shocked to find that she was down to her yellow undies! She was also surprised to see me in the room and I quickly left and apologized profusely afterwards.

4. The term 'tanga' is not so offensive among us Cebuanos. But here in Manila...it's a different thing. While sharing stories and jokes with a bunch of my boardmate friends, I blurted out to one of my friends that she was so 'tanga"...as a reaction to the story she was telling. She was offended and actually resigned to her room to cry. i apologized to her the next day.

5. I almost got into trouble with this guy once coz he told me that his girlfriend told him that I offended her in some way (binastos ko raw). I didn't even know the girl. I didn't make an apology this time though but asked for proof or to at least let the girl tell me just exactly how I offended her. The guy cooled dwn later and nothing happened.


TEN little THINGS THAT i ENJOY
1. Sitting in the back seat of the car on the way home listening to music.
2. Eating chocolate.
3. The smell of freshly cut grass.
4. Finding the time to sit down with a pen and a clean sheet of paper.
5. Crossing the Mactan bridge at night.
6. My brothers arguing...(about nonsense)
7. Singing my lungs out in the shower.
8. Walking in the rain.
9. Dousing cockroaches in rubbing alcohol then setting it aflame.
10. A nice good kick on a soccer ball.