Things are quiet in UP, being Holy week and all. Things are going well since I'm finally in the process of throwing up all the junk that's been filling up my room for the past few years. I'm a bit slow at it though. You know how it is, throwing out stuff is never that easy, especially if some of them reminds you of one thing or another. Some people might not see me as the sentimental type, but I am. I keep so many useless things that clutter up space. Say for example, a bunch of tickets to concerts, events and plays I've gone to, old notebooks with scribblings and drawings I did because I wasn't paying attention in class, even some fancy hotel paper or freebie from somewhere from some days/nights I'd want to remember. And I can't help reminiscing when I sift through old letters and pictures. I'm sure you guys know what I mean.
Anyway, I'm still not done and I realized I was hungry at around 9pm earlier. All the shops around UP were already closed and there were no jeepneys either. The campus actually looked like a ghost town. But I was hungry, so I had no choice but to walk. So I did just that...all the way to Katipunan. Still, things were pretty much quiet, and the only shops that were open were Shakey's and McDonalds. And I run into rowelle of all people, he was wearing something pambahay. So he tells me he's actually been living around Katipunan for about a month, we chitchat for a while in the middle of the street (there were no cars anyway), then part ways.
Days like these,you can't help but just think about things. It's not like you have a choice in the matter. But some thoughts are best kept to yourself I guess. Happy Easter to everyone anyway.
....
"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."
-Voltaire
There has always been something in silence that seduced me. The quiet things somehow seem more moving, more potent. So much stays in the realm of the unsaid, and after everything else, still so much would remain when we could say all that we can.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Saturday, March 19, 2005
It ends tonight...
I've always wanted to say something like that, hehe. Well, I'm just talking about my stay as an officer in the club known as UNESCO UPD. After 4 consecutive semesters of being the Internals head (acting head on the 1st sem), I think it's time to throw in the towel. It's probably time to look for other things to cause this ol' canucklehead(feeling!:P) some undue stress...preferably the kind of stress that pays, haha. I guess the org can use some new bloods too, I feel spent up. To be quite honest, I've felt like exploding at times, to go off in one of my moods...something some friends of mine would call "the vibe". Something I must be congratulated for, hehe, I've never really held off my vibe for this long...but it does take a lot of conscious effort. But the vibe in actuality is still one of the kinder manifestations of my angst, so people are lucky if thats all they get. But dang it's hard to keep cool these days... and even the little things seem to get on my nerves now. Little things like people asking me why I didn't run, if I still can't take a spot in the execom...and lines like "don't you owe it to the org to..." and stuff like that. I owe the org squat! And frankly, I don't think anyone has the right to ask me to give anything more to this club...save maybe for one other individual. But most times, I just manage to twist my eyebrows a bit and say "I'm tired" as a reply. I do this because I realize they wouldn't really know any better, I tend to keep things to myself afterall(arguably...for very good reasons).
But I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss any of it. The past two years were made very memorable for me because of the people I met and the friends i gained. And in some ways, it saved me from the hole I was in, gave me some things to do and less of the "other" things to think about. But like i said, you gotta know when to leave when it's time to.
....
I won't be going home for the Holy Week, so this would be a first for me to spend it alone. Hmm, after this...maybe I should try experiencing Christmas alone...the one occassion I still haven't tried being on my own, haha. I'm kidding of course. or am I? Anyways, I'll look for some stuff to do, and since I'm a little short on dough...some soul searching spend free activities may be in order, hahahaha. Ooooh boy...it's gonna be a long summer.
....
"They say that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. If I learn to accept that pain is part of life, I will be better able to endure the difficult times and then move on, leaving the pain behind me." -from Courage to Change
I've always wanted to say something like that, hehe. Well, I'm just talking about my stay as an officer in the club known as UNESCO UPD. After 4 consecutive semesters of being the Internals head (acting head on the 1st sem), I think it's time to throw in the towel. It's probably time to look for other things to cause this ol' canucklehead(feeling!:P) some undue stress...preferably the kind of stress that pays, haha. I guess the org can use some new bloods too, I feel spent up. To be quite honest, I've felt like exploding at times, to go off in one of my moods...something some friends of mine would call "the vibe". Something I must be congratulated for, hehe, I've never really held off my vibe for this long...but it does take a lot of conscious effort. But the vibe in actuality is still one of the kinder manifestations of my angst, so people are lucky if thats all they get. But dang it's hard to keep cool these days... and even the little things seem to get on my nerves now. Little things like people asking me why I didn't run, if I still can't take a spot in the execom...and lines like "don't you owe it to the org to..." and stuff like that. I owe the org squat! And frankly, I don't think anyone has the right to ask me to give anything more to this club...save maybe for one other individual. But most times, I just manage to twist my eyebrows a bit and say "I'm tired" as a reply. I do this because I realize they wouldn't really know any better, I tend to keep things to myself afterall(arguably...for very good reasons).
But I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss any of it. The past two years were made very memorable for me because of the people I met and the friends i gained. And in some ways, it saved me from the hole I was in, gave me some things to do and less of the "other" things to think about. But like i said, you gotta know when to leave when it's time to.
....
I won't be going home for the Holy Week, so this would be a first for me to spend it alone. Hmm, after this...maybe I should try experiencing Christmas alone...the one occassion I still haven't tried being on my own, haha. I'm kidding of course. or am I? Anyways, I'll look for some stuff to do, and since I'm a little short on dough...some soul searching spend free activities may be in order, hahahaha. Ooooh boy...it's gonna be a long summer.
....
"They say that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. If I learn to accept that pain is part of life, I will be better able to endure the difficult times and then move on, leaving the pain behind me." -from Courage to Change
Friday, March 04, 2005
Finally! I'm gonna have a sister...
Well, my mom's not pregnant okay? But I am gonna have a sister, by law that is. Coz my eldsest bro is finally gonna get married!!! He proposed last February 14, and I heard the news a day after while I was at the UP fair. I have to admit that upon hearing the news, I had a silly smile on my face and I was genuinely happy...beats me why. I must have seemed sillier than my usual self coz I was all alone in the Fair with that stupid grin on my face, hehe. Maybe, we just get naturally excited about events that you know change the lives of your loved ones- family in particular. Hmmm, and if they get...ehem..."busy", then my parents would finally be grandparents(something I know my dad has been wishing for for a long time, haha), and that would make me an uncle! cool! hehe:) Okay okay...i'm getting ahead of myself...they aren't a married couple yet, so I guess I'll just have to worry about the wedding details and stuff...ehe.
I'd say my mom took it well, and she was happy too. But then she started getting all inquisitive about the love lives of her other sons, haha. So in true hard-to-please-biased-to-her-sons-mother-type peptalk, she told me these stuff over the cellphone(sorry sa mga hindi Bisaya):
...Oi dondi ha, when the time comes na naa na moy mga girlfriend, tarunga ug pagpili ha. Kanang kaila nimo ilang background, the family, blood type, kanang wala'y mga sakit. Ayaw gyud ug pili ug mga diabetic...kay asus! Ayaw gyud anang mga masakitun kay mudako ra inyong gastos sa pamilya. Look at me and your papa, purya buyag, healthy mi. Ayaw sad nang mga tambok, kay mamroblema sad mo, dali mo magkasakit ug delikado and heart. Nya kani silang tanan, pwede ipasa sa mga anak, so ayaw gyud intawn ha! Nya pili sad mo ug nga gwapa kay mga gwapo raba intawn mo. Kaswerte nila noh, makuha nila akong mga babies. Ayaw nang mga dali matiguwang ang mga nawng, kanang mga sum-ol, kay mapul-an na ka dayon maski di pa mo tiguwang. ayaw gyud anang...(blah blah blah, haha)
....
Just earlier, on my way here from the UP Grail GA, I was about to take the long route by the sunken garden. But when I passed by the AS parking lot, I saw a bunch of cartolinas spread on the ground along the way. When I stopped to see what it was all about, I couldn't help but feel sad. It was an effort of a foreigner dad to help his son who is being held captive by a gang in Cubao. His 10 year old son, according to the written text, poorly scribbled but readable, was raped and is being kept as a victim of white slavery. He was selling all his belongings just so he could have a chance to save his son. In the other cartolinas, he posted pictures and articles and other information regarding the "rugby boys" gang. I was so moved by the list he came up with about the rights that should be afforded to his family and the things that were done to his family. From those I remember...
paraphrased
1. the right for children to be protected against rape and the sex trade.
2. the right of a foreign father to protect his Filipino child...
3. The right to protect ones family and home...
4. his kid was molested, raped ad threatened to be killed if he told anyone...
5. they were driven out of their own house and were beat up...
6. His(the kid) captors are making money from having the kid raped by high paying clients (white slavery)
...It's just a very despicable thing to hear about things like this. If its all true, then its really sad. Coz, he's pleading out in the open for someone to help his son, that these things are really happening and are actually going on as of the moment. And people just pass him by. How futile and sad it must be. Makes me wonder where the good guys are, where are the cops? Why is it so hard to help? What can be done? Why is nothing being done? And I ask myself...what can I do? probably nothing. I feel bad about not caring enough to find out if it's true. And even if I would find out, I doubt I'd really try to help. And what does that make me? A hypocrite. A philosopher without a backbone. So I walk away genuinely sad for his plight, yet totally ashamed of the fact that I am not too different aferall from all the others who walked that same pavement..and just kept on walking.
....
sorry, but i won't be ending with a quote this time.
Well, my mom's not pregnant okay? But I am gonna have a sister, by law that is. Coz my eldsest bro is finally gonna get married!!! He proposed last February 14, and I heard the news a day after while I was at the UP fair. I have to admit that upon hearing the news, I had a silly smile on my face and I was genuinely happy...beats me why. I must have seemed sillier than my usual self coz I was all alone in the Fair with that stupid grin on my face, hehe. Maybe, we just get naturally excited about events that you know change the lives of your loved ones- family in particular. Hmmm, and if they get...ehem..."busy", then my parents would finally be grandparents(something I know my dad has been wishing for for a long time, haha), and that would make me an uncle! cool! hehe:) Okay okay...i'm getting ahead of myself...they aren't a married couple yet, so I guess I'll just have to worry about the wedding details and stuff...ehe.
I'd say my mom took it well, and she was happy too. But then she started getting all inquisitive about the love lives of her other sons, haha. So in true hard-to-please-biased-to-her-sons-mother-type peptalk, she told me these stuff over the cellphone(sorry sa mga hindi Bisaya):
...Oi dondi ha, when the time comes na naa na moy mga girlfriend, tarunga ug pagpili ha. Kanang kaila nimo ilang background, the family, blood type, kanang wala'y mga sakit. Ayaw gyud ug pili ug mga diabetic...kay asus! Ayaw gyud anang mga masakitun kay mudako ra inyong gastos sa pamilya. Look at me and your papa, purya buyag, healthy mi. Ayaw sad nang mga tambok, kay mamroblema sad mo, dali mo magkasakit ug delikado and heart. Nya kani silang tanan, pwede ipasa sa mga anak, so ayaw gyud intawn ha! Nya pili sad mo ug nga gwapa kay mga gwapo raba intawn mo. Kaswerte nila noh, makuha nila akong mga babies. Ayaw nang mga dali matiguwang ang mga nawng, kanang mga sum-ol, kay mapul-an na ka dayon maski di pa mo tiguwang. ayaw gyud anang...(blah blah blah, haha)
....
Just earlier, on my way here from the UP Grail GA, I was about to take the long route by the sunken garden. But when I passed by the AS parking lot, I saw a bunch of cartolinas spread on the ground along the way. When I stopped to see what it was all about, I couldn't help but feel sad. It was an effort of a foreigner dad to help his son who is being held captive by a gang in Cubao. His 10 year old son, according to the written text, poorly scribbled but readable, was raped and is being kept as a victim of white slavery. He was selling all his belongings just so he could have a chance to save his son. In the other cartolinas, he posted pictures and articles and other information regarding the "rugby boys" gang. I was so moved by the list he came up with about the rights that should be afforded to his family and the things that were done to his family. From those I remember...
paraphrased
1. the right for children to be protected against rape and the sex trade.
2. the right of a foreign father to protect his Filipino child...
3. The right to protect ones family and home...
4. his kid was molested, raped ad threatened to be killed if he told anyone...
5. they were driven out of their own house and were beat up...
6. His(the kid) captors are making money from having the kid raped by high paying clients (white slavery)
...It's just a very despicable thing to hear about things like this. If its all true, then its really sad. Coz, he's pleading out in the open for someone to help his son, that these things are really happening and are actually going on as of the moment. And people just pass him by. How futile and sad it must be. Makes me wonder where the good guys are, where are the cops? Why is it so hard to help? What can be done? Why is nothing being done? And I ask myself...what can I do? probably nothing. I feel bad about not caring enough to find out if it's true. And even if I would find out, I doubt I'd really try to help. And what does that make me? A hypocrite. A philosopher without a backbone. So I walk away genuinely sad for his plight, yet totally ashamed of the fact that I am not too different aferall from all the others who walked that same pavement..and just kept on walking.
....
sorry, but i won't be ending with a quote this time.