Oh my gosh! Oh my Gosh! Oh my Gosh! How cruel can life be!?!?! Just my luck to walk into a comic book store and find a WOLVERINE NOVEL!!! A special limited edition hard bound novel titled WEAPONX! It's the last copy left and it costs P1650! Daaaaaarn it! gaaah...why cruel world? Why?!

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" ...there is no use to see glimmers in the sky,
if only to tell you of beautiful things,
that of which you can only gaze upon..."

-from an unfinished poem I titled Worlds Apart

Just bummed out again...

I think it was from the book, The Alchemist, that I encountered the idea that the whole world will conspire in favor of you when you initially seek out your plans. Hmm...I don't buy it. Yeah, I know it's rather a nice thing to hear but...I don't buy it. Well, how could I? They are just words from a book and I've been on this 3rd rock from the sun for over 22 years now...and I should know better. Hmm, I'm not really depressed or anything...just stating a fact. I just figured that making people believe things will come easily for them is the cruelest form of misinformation anyone could get. There's really no telling of how things will work out or that it would even be easy. People shouldn't expect it to be easy. Coz people who expect things to conspire for them are the easiest people to discourage. These things don't work out like business transactions you know, coz there is hardly anything that is the equivalent of the other in this life. I guess you just have to be content on just trying....and trying...and trying

Actually, I'm only ranting now coz the resolutions i've set are up for a tedious start. Among other things, the first on my list was to absolutely and finally clean up and redecorate my room once and for all. Of course I had to put everything out of its place so I could move some furniture here and there, and when I got to the point of finally getting everything out and ready for reorganization, guess what happens?! The darn flourescent lamp fizzles out in my room! Oooh boy...if that doesn't show how the universe is somehow against me...ewan ko nalang, hehe. I looked like a darn astronaut walking around my room trying not to bump into stuff with just the green light of my celfone to help me. Oh well...I guess I'll just have to change the list of resolutions. Number one: Buy a new flourescent lamp!:)

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Can love last forever?(romantically speaking) I've been recently wondering. I've always believed it could and I've always believed it would be the case for my parents. It was my moms birthday last Saturday, and though dad spent the weekend at home, she said that he didn't even greet her. Things have been quite rough for the past few years for the both of them, especially for my mom. It all started with my dad having to work outside of Cebu. On whether there is really any truth to the rumors about my dad is a subject I'd rather not elaborate much on for now. The point is that they have both drifted apart from each other and it's annoying to have mom tell us not to worry about it...like it shouldn't affect us in any way. The problem is right there in front of us but they won't allow us to acknowledge it. Dad doesn't really talk much about so I get most of the details from my mom. Sometimes, I hear her voice crack over the phone, and I could barely find anything of comfort. I know she loves him still, but she's not sure if that feeling is being reciprocated...and that doubt in itself is already painfully powerful. They've been through a lot (much more than most have been through who say they know what love is), and it's sad that after so long and this late in their lives, they face it with probable solitude. But I'm still hopeful things will work out... and maybe someday, we will all just smile back on the crazy things that went through our heads.

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"I've set a rather ambitious goal for myself. To be the best there is at what I do and figure out what that is. It ain't gonna be easy...nothing of value ever is."-my favorite nonperson, Logan.

isa pa...

(probably not the exact words...)
"I don't think i'll ever find anyone I'll ever love like that again" the man sobbed. "These kind of things are hard to find a second time..."

"There usually isn't a first time for most people", the detective replied.

- a scene with Kevin Bacon (the detective) talking to the boyfriend and supect of a murder victim on the movie Mystic River.

"Always leave things a little better than the way you found them." - something I read atop our highschool lockers.

I usually end my entries with a quotation, but today, I decided to start with one. It's still a month and a half too early to make any resolutions, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to get a head start. In more ways than one, I feel different...good different I guess. I'm already a little more hopeful and a little less worried about my life. No, I don't think my life is all dandy and ok, but I'll live...as people always do so as long as they decide to go on. Which reminds me of another quote, "Failure is only a temporary state, it's giving up that makes it permanent". I read that in the Readers Digest way back in 1999. It's funny how I used to think people can only get smarter or better as they get older. I was wrong about this. Because what happened to me was quite the opposite. I think it's funny too that in trying to be a "man", I often try to rememeber the boy I was(if i was the boy who I thought I was anyway)<--i hate having too many voices in my head sometimes. Maybe life isn't always about finding out what you can be, but probably, sometimes it's about finding out who you once were. For some time now, I've been secretly blaming other people for how I've changed, where I am and what's been taken from me. I have to remember that I can only become what I allow myself to be. Sure it gets me down sometimes that people too have stopped caring and probably stopped trying. But I can't let how other people fight their own battles dictate how I fight mine. So i guess I'll just have to try harder at this whole thing called life if I'm ever gonna get all the little things I wished I could get out of it.

So back to the first quote. It was one of my personal favorites when I was still a teen, it still is actually(though I haven't lived up to it). I think if there's one thing everyone wanted, it's in knowing that they've made a difference in their lives and probably, more importantly, that they've made a difference in the lives of the people they've been with. I wonder how many people can say that they actually had. Hmmm, sometimes...i'm just content not messing up other peoples live if can...since I'm probably not in the state to make anything better than what they already are. Call it positive passiveness if you will, hehe, as if there is such a thing. But I think the thing that strikes me most about the quote is that we can...make a difference. I believe we can. I believe that the stuff of heroes aren't just for the dozens of comic books that I've read. I have to believe that all these things I've read and seen aren't just meant for ink and paper but for real people (methinks I'm getting carried away <- shuttup voices in my head! lemme finish). I refuse to believe that these things are merely spineless ideologies that get bounced around to make us secure about our own so called humanity(reeeeally getting carried away). Aside from wishing there were more real life heroes, I really think...deep down...we all really want/wish to be the heroes (well, almost everyone...my 3rd brother genuinely plans to have total world domination, oh well). Hmm...well, I ain't gonna be no hero. But I know I can be better. And maybe, just maybe... I can have a shot at making that better bit of difference. Ok, I'll shut up now.

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Bad news for all Sunken garden lovers. Wait. Let me rephrase that. Bad news for all the people who love to hang out at the sunken garden. If you know (and love) that part of UPD as much as I do, then you've probably noticed the one single tree there that was set apart from the rest simply because it was the only one of its kind, kinda of out of place and didn't quite have its proper foothold like the other trees. Im talking about my favorite tree there, the bended coconut. Well, she ain't bending no more coz she passed away, cut at the base with her carcass spread all over the scene of the crime meant to provide rest to people's bottoms. I'm just sad, I kinda feel like I lost a friend and a memory because it was that tree that kept me company on one of the loneliest nights I had during the time of one of the past UP Fairs.

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"Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do"- posted at AS 101

SATURDAY NIGHT...

The Incredibles is one kick ass movie! I really liked it, hehe:) So I watched it again last night but with a couple of friends on a night out around Eastwood. But before I get to that, I want to start this narration right. Okay, here goes:

I was waiting by the oblation at around 2pm for Yvette to pick me up so we could play bowling with a couple of other friendly friends. She came around 2:30pm with a blue Sentra with the bumper obviously torn off, she was with her brother. I later found out that she didn't have a bumper coz her brother got into an accident ( just a minor one). But I'm a bit confused as to the details of the story. All I know is it involves a woman on a scooter or something and her boob popped out. I'm not sure if the boob popped out then he bumped into her, or he bumped into her...then the boob popped out.

Anyway, we didn't get to play bowling as planned coz some people backed out and there would be only five of us, so they didn't think it would be that much fun anymore. Anyhow, I just loitered around Yvette's place for a while watching 5 episodes straight of FRIENDS. Then finally, we had to go coz we decided to watch a movie instead, but not before I had a taste of some spaghetti concoction and bread pudding (yum! yum!).

We went to Valerie's house to pick her up and thats where Ivy and Kristel(first time to meet her) also met up with us. K-K was already at the movie house to buy the tickets for us just in case we might run a little late. Eastwood was full of people, naturally since it was a Saturday night. Too bad we didn't get really good seats (we were way up front)and though it was my second time to watch this movie, I was still entertained, hehe.

After the movie, we dropped by Macdo for a while coz Kristel had to meet someone, then we went to "Somethings Fishy" for a bite to eat. I just ordered Halo-halo coz I could still feel the bread pudding I ate several hours earlier. So we were just there, the topic for the night was...uhm...guys and girls and relationships. But I didn't talk much, was quite content just listening...busy enjoying my icy treat you know. Then, at around 12:30, we headed to Quezon Ave. for some Kebab place that doesn't close coz Yvette was craving for some Shawarma or something. I finally got home at about 1:30am but I really wasn't sleepy yet so I just tinkered around with my computer till I finally hit the hay at 3.

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Incredible Quotes...

- "Honey, everyone is special" Dash's mom said. "That's just another way of saying no one is", he replied.

- "Greater good?! Honey, I am your wife, I am the greatest good you are ever gonna get!" Mrs. Frozone

- Mr. Incredible on secret identities:

"Of course I have a secret Identity. Who wouldn't? Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?"

Oooh boy...

My three favorite tagalog songs were played here in the cafe...sunod sunod pa. So mahirap hindi magsenti, hehe. Oh well, but I'd rather not talk about that now. So I'll just post few lines from the song in my head right now...

"Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me."

-HERE WITH ME by Dido

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My last few days of sembreak in Cebu was great. Especially the day Ana had a post birthday celebration at Shakey's. Others who were present were Gail, Denise, Ronald, Czarnie, and Joy(who left early). I met up with Denise before the celebration to pick out a gift for Ana and to catch up with what's been up with her lately. We ended up buying a Calvin & Hobbes comic book, which i would have gladly bought for myself, hehe...oh well. I was quite content listening to everyones chika sessions over lunch and Gail gave me 2 music cds with so many cool songs on them. Thanks Gail! Well after lunch, we headed for Ayala...the old stomping grounds of our batch some years ago. We were a bit undecided on what to do there though, if we were gonna go play billiards or something. But no, we ended up lounging around again and spent a whole lot of the time playing around with trivia was happily bombarding our way. Before we decided to split ways, we decided to have a group picture of us taken (which would be the first time I'd be part of their group pics.)...but I think i blinked on both shots, darn. But I still had lots of fun that afternoon.

I bummed myself out that night coz I went with my parents to some halloween party in the country club. None of my brothers were there coz they all had their own "gimmicks". But the live band with RJ Jacinto was pretty good though playing some good old rock from the oldies. But still, I was bummed out...it just wasn't my crowd (haha, as if I have one at all).

I couldn't think of a better way to end my vacation than have some friendly competition with my brothers (see Brothers Olympics). I really missed being competitive in sports and just getting to fool around with the some trash talking was nice, hehe. It was all good.

Hmmm...as usual, I was still tense thinking about getting on an airplane again.

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The Brothers Olympics

Me and my 3 other brothers (Jon, III, and Ron)have come up with the idea to have a sort of olympics. We are going to pair off and compete in the best of 5 from six different sports to choose from. The sports are billiards, bowling, basketball, table tennis, relay and Volleyball. I have teamed up with Kuya Boky and the team that wins 3 of the sports first wins the Olympics. The loser of the most recent sport competed for gets to choose what the next sport would be. Of course, knowing me and my brothers, there's always something at stake. There's a bet of P5000 on the line (Thats more than enough to get me a darn good scanner!). And yesterday, we kicked it off!

Billiards
It starts off with a one one one. I go against Kuya Popot and my partner goes against Ron. Uhm...we lost this one. So we go to the next game...


Bowling
Naturally, we creamed them on this one by totally decimating them in the first two games of a best of 5 series. But they caught up to tie the series and force a game 5. But unfortunately for them, they had no chance in the last game.

Stats...

So far, the games are tied at one a piece, Can't wait for December to collect! hehe

A week in Cagayan...

My dad picked us up at the port 10 minutes after we arrived with his brand new silver Honda CRV. I couldn't wait to get to the house, but since everyone else but me didn't get to eat breakfast yet, we had to stop by at Jollibee. When we finally got to the campus (Liceo de Cagayan University), I found out my dad stayed in the museum which seemed a bit creepy with all those old stuff there and with no one else around really. But the the garden was really big...as in BIG, and they had a pet eagle and a parrot. And in the garage, a bunch of cool cars were lined up, like a vintage convertible jaguar, a rolls royce, a couple of BMW's and some more of this and that. So after taking our much needed baths (trust me...you DO NOT want to take showers on the boat), we scoured the city to get an idea of what places to go to throughout the week. Later that night, we ate at Sunburst Fried Chicken with their eat/drink all you can promo (P119)...sobrang sulit at sarap. Hmmm, if most of my friends think I'm a big eater, wait till they see my brothers! My youngest brother has the biggest mouth among us though, he averaged 8-10 chicken peices of chicken everytime we ate there (not yet including all the rice, drinks and side salads and stuff). Later that night, we decided to spend our weekend in Camiguin, and that meant only one thing...SWIMMING!

We went to Camiguin the next day by boat, a much larger one from what I expected. But I was glad for a change that the docks were really clean, and there was nothing but stretches of green and blue for as far as the eye could see. The baot trip wasn't more than an hour, and when we got there, we found out that it was their Lansones Festival and that tourists were flocking in. It took us a while to look for a resort since they were all fully booked, but thatnkfully, we got to one just in time to get their last available room, whew!

One of the attractions in Camiguin is the White Island which is actually a sandbar about a kilometer away from our resort. We immediately went off to the small island of nothing but soft white sand. and the water was really shallow in a lot of areas which was ideal for wading. I left my brothers to make a tour of the island...but turns out it was a bad idea coz i had encounters with the third kind...oh well. But nonetheless, I got to circle the island unscathed and i got to enjoy one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen. *MENTAL NOTE: NEVER FORGET TO BRING A CAMERA* Oh well, I made sure to make a mental image of it in my head and I'll get down to painting it very soon. We went back to the resort around 7 and had dinner. Me and my brothers then decided to just play cards until 1 am. The next day, we just loitered around the beach and prepared to head back to Cagayan coz my older brother had to catch his trip back to Cebu ahead of us.

The next few days, me and my younger brother basically spent most of our time malling, pigging out, taking driving lessons from our dad and watching tv. Hmm...I'm getting tired of writing coz the computer has been malfunctioning and i end up losing a bunch of stuff I've already written down. So...i'll just make a list of stuff i like to rememeber about the trip...

Cagayan highlights and others...

1. Must remember not to be the last one to sleep if you don't want lay victim to a snorefest from brothers and dad.

2. Always bring a camera

3. Must go back to the restauraunt by the beach if I ever get back to Cagayan.

4. My younger brother had a supernatural experience in the museum at night. When he tried to hide away from us to answer the call of his "gf", he was frightened when the rocking chair in the main living room started moving on its own. Haha, the poor boy went back in the room with us:)

5. My dad was onced followed by a jeep full of armed men. Luckily, the jeep was no match for the speed of a CRV.

6. I had overtook my first car, or truck rather, in Cagayan...woohoo!

(will add if I remember anything more to add...)

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"Life is suffering. And the source of all suffering is desire"-buddhist saying