Batman and Superman

Those who of know my affinity for the Batman might be wondering why the title isn't "Batman versus Superman." Truth be told, I don't really dislike the 'ol boy scout, and I guess this entry would be to expound on how I see these comic icons in their respective personas and what they might actually represent. Prepare for geek talk! if not...then just stop reading, haha.

The way I see it, Superman will always be everybody's hero, or at least starts out that way. He's the guy who could do it all (although technically he's not a "guy", he's really an alien from outer space...but you know what I mean). And he does do it all, from saving a cat stuck up a tree to fighting interstellar bad ass aliens and saving the day. He hardly breaks a sweat, never let's anyone down, and he never manages to offend the ladies, prepubescent kids and old folk. And more importantly, he never loses. Sure there's the occasional drama of seemingly dying or losing a loved one, but that never really happens. So for the most part, the facts that surround superman from the day he was created still hold true till today. No dead relatives, no dead wife, no dead officemates. Heck, for being the most powerful being in his universe, it's kinda odd that even he's arch enemy is still alive. That also shows just how nice he is.

Well, maybe "nice" is not a fair word. I don't intend to imply that he doesn't actually struggle with some of the more testing decisions he has to make. Yes Superman is a nice guy, but that's not why Luthor is still alive. He's alive because Superman's true virtue of steel is found in his principles. Luckily for Luthor, the Man of Steel is a believer of life and it's sacredness. That is the one ideal that he and Batman have always and will always share- that they will never take a life.

The problem with Superman in the eyes of most people is that he is too darn consistent. He is too resilient. It is easy to scream accusations of him being one-dimensional as a character. But all it really is, is that they no longer want to believe in their childhood heroes. Because fact of the matter is, they don't grow up to be them.

People want to see good men break. I guess simply because men are mostly made of broken parts. People don't want to know that there are giants that walk amongst them, or even hear of the idea. A lot of people might think that they actually hope for good people or persons, but I think they only desire this on a superficial level; on a level that would make us feel comfortable every now and then that humanity is a good thing afterall. Of course, everyone looks for good men too when they need of help. Of course, what a relief it is to have them then. But to really have them around, and cast our shadows against them, I don't think anyone would be too happy about that for that too long. All I know is, at some point in our history, there once lived a perfect man, and they ended up nailing him to a cross.

Anyway I'm veering off course...

The problem of being Superman ( I imagine) is probably the utter loneliness you must feel. Everyone eventually doubts what you really are, most would expect you to fail at some point just to ease their hurt egos, and maybe no one would ever really know how hard it is to stay blameless and true. It is a long and lonely battle, the life a virtuous man.

Not everyone gets a fairytale life, if any at all. And certainly that is the case for Batman. It's not so difficult to see his appeal. An epitome of discipline and will, bourne out of an incident of crime. He is the peak of human ability both physically and intellectually. He is a loner, therefore someone who's made himself free and unanswerable to no one. How many middle-aged men break down on just realizing they are slaves to their work and to wives?

Now Batman is more of a grown-up's superhero. Not that kids don't like him, coz they do (but more for his car and gadgets...and maybe the babes). Now "nice" is not a word you can use with him, but he is indeed a force of good. But he is a dark entity, full of hate and sorrow. Yet out of it is a resolve to fight, to have some semblance of justice in this world and to protect others from a fate such as his. He is the victim turned protector, the mortal champion. Superman is someone who hides in plain sight with a collared shirt and glasses, his true strength and character hidden by a meek exterior. Something I imagine that young men or even women might want to imagine; that they really are beneath whatever exterior, a strong and dangerous people. But with Batman, the transformation and secrecy is on a whole new level entirely. As a stoic, dark and distant individual, his virtue is that he is a man that actually cares. I guess people would like that idea. Despite their crassness and their faults, they actually are people who care. Superman hides his identity, but the Batman hides his true goodness.

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"We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific, concrete, individualized, unique." - Benjamin Jowett

The Rambling


One day you'll wake up with so much anger in your heart. You aren't really sure where it comes from, but you'll have some vague idea. The only other problem with it, is that you don't really know what to do with it.


Who can know the depths of your travelled depression? Who can follow the turnings of the heart by the split second? Who can tell you who you really are?


The questions don't stop. But the illusion is that finding the answers will somehow give you peace. It is no comfort either that whatever we might find ourselves in, our illusion or our truths, we have the capacity to make peace with either one.


You'll wake up one day, and you wouldn't know who you are. You'll hate everyone just because they can't help you remember. You'll hate everyone even more if they don't let you forget.


Oh when the day will come when the mask comes off, what a fearful beautiful day that will be.

....




....

"They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me." - Bruce Wayne from Batman Begins

Some of the things I've learned so far...

It's easier to build walls than bridges.

10% of the decisions we make are born out of a conscious choice, the rest are born out of habit.

Relatives know you best in ways that are most embarrassing at parties.

People don't change. They can only become better or worse versions of themselves.

Be careful of people who tell you, "welcome to the real world." You wouldn't want their world to be what's real for you.

Few are the tomorrows that actually come; fewer are the yesterdays that come back.

Whatever the situation is, realize that things aren't as great or as bad as you think they are.

A lot of people get out of relationships coz they say they've fallen out of love. Truth is, it didn't work out coz they were never even friends to begin with.

It's not what you know. It's how you say it.

Remember, what doesn't kill you is called torture.

In anything in life, there's a correct answer, then there's the right answer.

The smartest thing you can say when you don't know is, "I don't know."

There is always room for regret, on whether you open or shut your mouth.

It is more helpful to point out sins than to point out sinners.

Don't be ashamed to be afraid of the dark and scary things, that's natural. The real cowards are those who are afraid of beautiful and better things.

Make enemies, so at least you know who your friends are.

Never let anyone mess with what is precious to you.

The world belongs to fighters, not dreamers. But the best fighters are dreamers too.

Sometimes, not everything worth winning can be won.

Everyone needs saving.

Things will keep happening to you until you learn what you need to learn... or until you die.

The "smartest" people are the people who never learn.

Tomorrow will come, it's today that's the problem.

Unless you are certain that your perception is infinite and pure (and it isn't or ever will be), then never judge anyone or anything with so much finality.

Talk and do what you know to be true.

Experience is indeed the best teacher, but that doesn't say anything about the student.

Before anything else, breathe.

My father was right, fear and stupidity are more contagious than any virtue.

"Not right now." is how most regrets and mistakes begin.

Learn to put trash in it's place.

Don't expect people to be as lenient on you as you are on yourself.

No one's lack of self esteem is worth your encouraging lies. You aren't doing an empty can any favors by filling it with air.

With all the words, ideas and things in all the world, remember that the tools of communication should be used to understand and be understood... in the simplest, most efficient way possible.

Time is the most wasted resource.

Everyone gets old, but not everyone grows up.

Life are mostly processes of learning what you need to and unlearning what you don't need.

Life is to be respected.

Remember to start and end the day right.

There is no magic formula. You have to keep walking forward and keep getting up, one moment at a time. (I think I just contradicted myself here...hehe)

Develop a sense of humor. You'll need it.

Saying sorry is the hardest thing to do. (Coz you have to mean it)

It is important to believe in things that are bigger and greater than yourself.

Take vacations and enjoy 'em. If you can, enjoy your work as well.

Chocolate is never a bad idea.

Realize that you are most of the time merely a blind man holding one part of an elephant.

Wisdom and courage is a curse if you have but one and not the other.

It might be a good thing to sometimes have faith in your doubts.

Try to be better. Then try again. And again.

You can't lose if you don't give up.

Love honestly.

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"Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it." -Andre Gide

TIME OUT

So I'm over a quarter century old. Initially I was set to put out my usual depressing post...but hey, I decided I might as well lay back a bit and fill out a few measly personality surveys. :)

Your Ice Cream Personality:

You like to think of yourself as a fairly modest person. And it's true that you don't talk yourself up... but you're also pretty happy with who you are. You are incredibly cautious. You rather miss out on something than make a mistake. No one would ever call you wild... but they would call you responsible. You are a somewhat open minded person, but deep down you're fairly conservative. You don't like trying new things very much. And if you do find something new you like, you stick with it. You tend to have a one track mind. You prefer not to multitask. You can be a big dramatic and over the top sometimes. You are bold in every way

The Ice Cream Personality Test

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Are Romanticism

You are likely to see the world as it should be, not as it is. You prefer to celebrate the great things people do... not the horrors they're capable of. For you, there is nothing more inspiring than a great hero. You believe that great art reflects the artist's imagination and true ideals.

What Art Movement Are You?

The results of the test below are sooo me. I doubt anyone would object.

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT) You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

I don't agree with the last line of this result.

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?


....

"If you don't give up, you can't lose"
-something i heard on tv an hour ago.

"The bruising of the fallen. The weightlessness of flight."

The great mystery is to tell the devil's voice from my own. All this talking and I can't really say when strength ends and pride begins, when wisdom fails and stubborness pervades, or when I should shake idle bones or take the wounded's rest.

I wouldn't really know but I might as well try something. I was struck by a line from the latest Indiana Jones movie at the end when someone said, "So much of life is wasted in waiting". But I am waiting because there isn't else much to do. Honestly, possible mistakes scare me much more that could-have-beens. One could probably say that I am someone of little faith. But why should I argue to persist onwards when clearly I am a creature of ignorance.

So I wait. I am a hitchhiker on this empty and vast road to salvation and purpose.

....

"The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become." -Charles Dubois

SOMEDAY


The nameless vow; I will not be regret.
No more of that. Never of this.
The bruising of the fallen. The weightlessness of flight.
My fate unsealed. I will be broken and more.
Fear will take me to where courage is needed.
I will fight. I will make my stand.
I will be broken and more.
But, wings and fire cannot take me.
No more of yesterday.
Never again of tomorrow's promise.
Now. I will leave, then I will live.
Everything in the tracks, nothing in the tank.
Phantoms of shifting freeways,
silence my rage, focus my sights.
Till weary feet find its home,
I will ride my poison, my salve, my soul.
For in this world, there is no difference.
When freedom will be my cage,
then I am broken no more.

I FEEL LIKE WRITING

Time is something that eludes everyone, despite the fact that it's always there, in front of you, in your hands, always felt but never grasped. Time is like the mistress who's been with everybody, but nobody owns her. We use her, but we are her slaves. We think we are able to consume her, when really we consume ourselves. And when she is gone, like most people, we will realize how beautiful she was. But for the most part, time just stands there, a quiet witness to our endless chasing of other things that are not ours as well.

I guess all I'm saying is that it's been a while. There are some spaces I have not chartered, but hardly are they not travelled. There are pages that are not written, but who can say that they were not lived? Who can measure the weight of choices, or the distance between the ticks of a clock on when we decide? Who can say how powerful things must be for them to be able to move us? Who can judge the weight of silence against the ramblings of an attempted existence? There are so many things I could tell you. Ugly things. Beautiful things. But mostly, just things. Blank pages do not mean anything. Only that sometimes, there are things that do not fit a container.

I guess all I'm saying is that it's been a while. I could of course be referring to a couple dozen things, but for now, I simply refer to my writing- about my thoughts, my nothings, my somethings. But always, to my conscious knowledge, true things. As if that matters anyway.

Silence will always mean a great many things to me. It is my friend, my weapon, my hideaway, my standard, my curse. But quite honestly, I myself cannot fathom the seasons in which I wallow in its depths or decide to wander from its embrace. In any case, all I know is that I simply do. There is almost an equal amount of contempt in my experience on whether one remains quiet, or one tries to be "eloquent". So in the grand scheme of things, maybe it doesn't matter to choose to be either. It seems however that recently I have been more of the former. Though that's hardly a surprise, I think I've set a new personal record high.

As I said, there a lot of things I could talk about. Things like starting the new year with a prayer while I stand alone on the roof deck beneath the stars and fireworks. And how one of the first things I did for the new year was send a text message, which eventually developed into one of the biggest and best surprises I've ever had. I could talk about love, and how finding someone that really means something can make you quite simply and truly happy. But that in itself is a topic whose simplicities and complexities naturally contest any attempt to condense it into words. So I won't try, well at least not right now. I could talk about my thesis, how it's been a real struggle to juggle time, inspiration and the tedious task of execution while worrying about everything else plus the fact of finding out that you no longer know how to draw. There was also the time of great sadness, when my heart was crushed at the notion that I would not be allowed to graduate. After everything I've tried to do right for the past four years, it seemed painful that my simple hope of having a clean ending to my academic life would be denied. Then there came the great sigh of relief and gratitude when I was told I would indeed graduate with my batch (Thank you God!). And a little cherry on top of that was the fact that my thesis was one of those chosen to have a college grant (Show me the money!). But then I could also talk about the awkward feeling of not knowing what lies ahead. There is that sneaky feeling of freedom yet also pressure. I do not know anymore if it is okay to just takes things as they come or be overanalytical. Safe or sorry? I could talk a great deal of what I think of those two words. I could go on, but don't worry, I won't.

Silence can be quite addictive. I realize I am at a loss at this thing called life. I have done things my kid self wouldn't be too happy about. I have grown to despise people and even friends for reasons I cannot even comprehend. Sometimes my silence is ignorance. It is a very weary world to live in if we lose sight of things, and I am afraid that is very much the case. I still believe in things, but I'm not sure I remember why. But i'll try. There's nothing much left to do anyway.

Lately, I feel like dreaming again. I dream of pursuing a film career, of taking up some course on cinematography and maybe even some creative writing. I dream of finishing my graphic novel on Bonifacio, despite the fact I was not satisfied with the condition of my thesis when I submitted it. I dream of feeling that thing I was feeling when I was 13. I still dream of running away, even for just a little while, on an open road to nowhere. I dream of knowing that I will always have someone to watch fireworks every new year (or Christmas). I dream of being able to conquer my fears, all of them, although I'm least optimistic about my fear of flying. I still dream, I guess that in itself is a good thing.

If filled pages mean anything, I guess it's just that someone tried to share something captured from perfect thought. The attempt in itself should be worth something.

I missed this. It is a good thing I think, to be able to talk to everyone and yet no one.

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"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."- Hubert Humphrey

Happy New Year
this isn't really a greeting

Well... for all my so-called control, worrying, adapted cool exterior, indecisiveness, secrecy, tug-0-war reasonings, clinical denial, calculated vague indifference, and predictive analytical abilities, I was right about one thing. Happy people do not write. They just walk around the supermarket aimlessly for about an hour, ending up with just a milk carton in hand, eyeing a pack of strawberries suspiciously on the way out from the counter.

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"...love from one being to another can only be that two solitudes come nearer, recognize and protect and comfort each other." - Han Suyin