Friday, May 24, 2013

686

Been wanting to write but whenever I come to my account, I suddenly feel depressed with all the unpublished and unfinished entries I've written over the years. And it also tires me to think that I have to double check everything before publishing just so that I wouldn't be repeating entries- something I'm too lazy to do right now so I guess cleaning out the "draft" box would have to wait.

I'm still working on the Bonifacio Graphic Novel. I don't know if I'll be done with it this year as I would have hoped but I'll try my best to have some kind of tangible output before the year is over. In many ways, it's almost as if I have no choice in the matter.  By that I mean this thing I have with this story is an affliction. I'll elaborate on that on another day perhaps.

This is probably the year that I would earn the least amount of cash and have the least amount of days spent in Cebu (my birthplace). It's weird but I always had this strange feeling that I "regenerate" whenever I go back home. Manila life is quite different as to how I grew up and it takes a lot out of you. It's not like I don't miss family, It's just that the things you miss can't be restored and it's harder when you are around the things you miss when they aren't the things you miss anymore -if that makes any sense. I guess it's also cos I'm a bit different now. My beliefs and vocation are quite difficult to blend with the circumstances that are there right now. Things have certainly changed for that little kid who rode his bike on weekends dreaming of soccer-filled weekdays, looking for adventures that dealt with supervillains. Compared to dealing with the intangible tangled dilemmas of adulthood, supervillains would have been a walk in the park.

I've been thinking of letting go of a few things. Life is weird like that. It's not like you have much to begin with, but to change you have to give up things, hopefully to make room for better things...or most probably just end up just making more room for even worse things.

Thank God for God.


....

"The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship."  -Francis Bacon

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