"All that a man really needs is something to love.
If he doesn't have that, then he just needs to have something to hope for.
If he doesn't have that, then he just needs something to do."

That's a quote from the movie, The Flight of the Phoenix. It's basically a story about a couple of people stranded in the desert when their plane crashes after a freak storm. The captain isn't too optimistic about their chances for survival(gosh, his pessimism sort of reminds me of someone) and he isn't the type to dish out false hope, so it eventually leads to a conflict among the survivors about what to do with their time out in the desert. Eventually someone says the quote above to knock some sense(or heart) into the captain, who titles it, "the hopes and dreams speech." There are a great many things I can argue with, but the statement I quoted above just isn't one of them.

Love and hope used to seem like such big words. Now they just feel icky to the tongue. I wonder when and how that happened. So I guess that's not a good sign is it? I don't have a ready answer to the "something to love" part so anything that would come out of my mouth regarding that would feel like it was forced. So do I then find some light at the end of the tunnel in the "something to hope for" category? Hmm, I'm not so sure about that either. I do know that I have the tendency to be the type of guy to gawk at the stars all night, hoping it'll be them that'll somehow come down to me since I know all too well my feet can never leave the ground.

Is it hope that keeps me going? And what is it that I hope for? I'm not too sure these days so I guess I'll pass the soul searching for some other time. Most of the time though, I am afraid that all I try to do is distract myself with things to do from the reality of a life not lived. I wonder if I will ever break this cycle and free myself from the "quiet desperation" that men have.

I wonder. Hopefully, it'll be a matter of when and not if.

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If any of you ever get to watch the movie I(heart)huckabees, and if you still love all things that are good and holy in this world...pleeeease close your eyes for a good 30 seconds the instant you get to a scene where Jude Law has a blonde wig on. If you do not heed this warning, you will regeret it. I kid you not. However, the movie in it's entirety isn't quite half-bad. I actually enjoyed it. It makes a lot of interesting philosophical points and arguments throughout the film with a rather detached/weird/off-beat/(I'm not sure if I'm using the right words) sense of humor behind it all (Although I should say that the single sex scene in the movie was also quite disturbing). Plus, the musical score for the movie was done by Jon Brion (the guy who did ESOTSM). I have to say, after the movie, I was left with the impression Brion's music suits a certain type of film. If you get to watch it, you'll know what I mean.
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"It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?"- Henry David Thoreau