Just bummed out again...

I think it was from the book, The Alchemist, that I encountered the idea that the whole world will conspire in favor of you when you initially seek out your plans. Hmm...I don't buy it. Yeah, I know it's rather a nice thing to hear but...I don't buy it. Well, how could I? They are just words from a book and I've been on this 3rd rock from the sun for over 22 years now...and I should know better. Hmm, I'm not really depressed or anything...just stating a fact. I just figured that making people believe things will come easily for them is the cruelest form of misinformation anyone could get. There's really no telling of how things will work out or that it would even be easy. People shouldn't expect it to be easy. Coz people who expect things to conspire for them are the easiest people to discourage. These things don't work out like business transactions you know, coz there is hardly anything that is the equivalent of the other in this life. I guess you just have to be content on just trying....and trying...and trying

Actually, I'm only ranting now coz the resolutions i've set are up for a tedious start. Among other things, the first on my list was to absolutely and finally clean up and redecorate my room once and for all. Of course I had to put everything out of its place so I could move some furniture here and there, and when I got to the point of finally getting everything out and ready for reorganization, guess what happens?! The darn flourescent lamp fizzles out in my room! Oooh boy...if that doesn't show how the universe is somehow against me...ewan ko nalang, hehe. I looked like a darn astronaut walking around my room trying not to bump into stuff with just the green light of my celfone to help me. Oh well...I guess I'll just have to change the list of resolutions. Number one: Buy a new flourescent lamp!:)

....

Can love last forever?(romantically speaking) I've been recently wondering. I've always believed it could and I've always believed it would be the case for my parents. It was my moms birthday last Saturday, and though dad spent the weekend at home, she said that he didn't even greet her. Things have been quite rough for the past few years for the both of them, especially for my mom. It all started with my dad having to work outside of Cebu. On whether there is really any truth to the rumors about my dad is a subject I'd rather not elaborate much on for now. The point is that they have both drifted apart from each other and it's annoying to have mom tell us not to worry about it...like it shouldn't affect us in any way. The problem is right there in front of us but they won't allow us to acknowledge it. Dad doesn't really talk much about so I get most of the details from my mom. Sometimes, I hear her voice crack over the phone, and I could barely find anything of comfort. I know she loves him still, but she's not sure if that feeling is being reciprocated...and that doubt in itself is already painfully powerful. They've been through a lot (much more than most have been through who say they know what love is), and it's sad that after so long and this late in their lives, they face it with probable solitude. But I'm still hopeful things will work out... and maybe someday, we will all just smile back on the crazy things that went through our heads.

....

"I've set a rather ambitious goal for myself. To be the best there is at what I do and figure out what that is. It ain't gonna be easy...nothing of value ever is."-my favorite nonperson, Logan.

isa pa...

(probably not the exact words...)
"I don't think i'll ever find anyone I'll ever love like that again" the man sobbed. "These kind of things are hard to find a second time..."

"There usually isn't a first time for most people", the detective replied.

- a scene with Kevin Bacon (the detective) talking to the boyfriend and supect of a murder victim on the movie Mystic River.