Just came from my cousin's graduation who graduated cumlaude from physics *clap clap clap*... a graduation I should have been part of if things went according to plan...blahblahblah. Actually, I never planned to watch the whole graduation rites, it sparked off a few dozen mixed emotions (and I kinda discovered I'm a bit masochistic pala...a bit)... but I had to coz family was involved and I never really could refuse dinner out,hehe. There were fewer familiar faces I saw than I expected to see, some faces I thought I'd never get to see again, and some faces I may never get to see again...sniff sniff. One of my good friends was among the graduates and she gave me a friendship bracelet for remembrance since she's leaving for the states, probably for good. I'll miss her quirky weird company and as a parting gift I gave her a couple of burned cds of songs and an animated movie(sadly didn't have the budget for a better graduation gift). Strangely enough, at the end of the ceremony, at the very moment before I could reach the car...'she' was there. We kinda shared an awkward glance as she passed by...but I did manage to say congratulations...to the girl behind her...who was my blockmate...pathetic. Sometimes I think God makes up these scenarios to amuse himself...oh well...that's that.

The atmosphere was light over dinner which was such a relief coz family gatherings tend to be so interrogative most of the time. But of course I couldn't avoid the side comments like, "next year, ikaw na naman". I guess it's really my fault for not yet telling anyone that I'm really not yet graduating this coming year. But thankfully, the night's conversation mainly centered on cool full-time and part-time jobs. I don't believe it but my cousin said that Starbucks barrista's actually start with a P70000/month income. If it's true then I'll give it a shot...if not, then there are always call centers where you could earn P15000-20000/month. But I heard from a boardmate that the hottest call center is in ortigas...you could possibly earn P10000 a day...a day!!! you'll be a millionaire in 50 days! The drawback is that you'll be getting calls from the horniest most perverse and repressed minds from all around the globe...and you're gonna have to make strange noises too, haha. Big bucks with a one way ticket to hell...but no...I haven't stooped that low yet, haha.
Hmmm... I just remembered that I have to get back to my room coz I still have some unfinished laundry to do and my rooms a mess (it actually looks the way I feel). Sometimes everything gets a whole lot prettier especially when you're all covered in mud(<-just a random thought i got now)
goodnight!

***ACADS***
1. student number = 99-52034
2. college = College of arkitorture
3. nag-shift ka ba/na-kick-out = not yet...
4. saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT? = UP Cebu
5. favorite GE subject? = Comm 2
6. favorite PE = (taken) bowling, (not yet taken) fencinng and archery
7. name your 4 PEs =pe1, bowling....ehem...
9. pinaka-sikat na prof = ma'm chico
10. pinaka-ayaw na GE subject = kasaysayan 2
11. kumuha ka ba ng wed or sat classes = yup
12. nakapag-field trip ka ba = op chors...laguna, bulacan, ilocos...etc.
13. ilang units na-drop mo = marami
14. ilang units binagsak mo = more than I would care to mention
***UP LIFE***
1. orgs/frats/soros =UNESCO UPD Club
2. tambayan= UNESCO Tambayan, kwarto, sunken garden
3. dorm, boarding house, o bahay = boarding house
4. naka-inom ka ba sa sarah's o gulod/likha-diwa = nope
5. paboritong fishball = qwek qwek (;p)
6. me suki ka bang bananaQ vendor = basta banana q...kinakain ko, anytime, anywhere
7. paboritong isawan = sa may ilang
8. first movie na napanood sa FC = some foreign flick...i think
10. nakapag-date ka ba sa sunken garden = i really woudn't call it a date...
11. sa lagoon = nope
12. name the 5 most coño orgs in UP = ?_?
13. magbigay an org in UP na sa tingin mo ay ikaw lang, aside from the members, ang may alam. = tita vicky's boarding house :)
14. name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP = UNESCO
15. napunta ka na ba sa fair = DUUHHH! 5 in a row..pirpek atindans:)
16. ano pinakagusto mong gawin sa UP Fair = magpahenna and makinig sa gusto kong bands.
17. may frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo nung freshie = yup
18. saan ka madalas mag-lunch = wherever food is available
19. masaya ba sa UP = ask me again in a couple of years...
***PULITIKA***
1. nakasama ka na ba sa rally = edsa 2!!!!
2. tibak ka ba = nope
3. ilang beses ka bumoto sa student council = twice pa lang ata
4. nakipagtalo ka na ba sa prof mo about politics = nope
5. nakita mo na bang tumakbo si fr. robert reyes = yup.
6. name at least 5 leftist groups in UP = ????
7. sino ang student council chair nung freshie ka= ????(politics is overrated)
***FIRST TIME***
1. sinamahan ka ba ng parent/s mo nang mag-enrol ka nung freshie = yah...they literally dragged me to take the entrance exams nga eh...
2. nagtaka ka ba kung saan ang TBA = nope
3. sino first ever nakilala mo sa UP = christine talaus
4. magkakilala pa rin kayo hanggang ngayon = yup, blockmate ko yun nung freshie
5. ano first ever class na pinasukan mo sa UP = kas 1
6. best clothes mo ba ang suot mo n'ung first day of classes = nope, i usually try to dress my best on a friday
7. umatend ka ba ng orsem = never
8. pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka = nope
9. e nung graduating ka na = the question is...gragraduate ba? ( o ye, of little faith)
***LOVELYF UP***
1.nagka-bf/gf ka ba sa UP= yup.
2.kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP = wouldn't you like to know...

It's one of those days again when I try to fight off sleep for no particular reason. I just want to stay up and worry and fry whatever brain cells I have left...though there are very few left to fry anyhow. At least I don't have class for a week in my morning subject for summer since my prof is somewhat sick (ya right!)..., but i'm not complaining since at least for now I don't have to worry about getting up early. I'm pretty moody lately, like now for instance...taking a ride in the middle of the night to some net cafe(kid's, don't try this at home). But so what if I get mugged or something...it would actually save me the trouble I guess.

So far though, nothing of the like has happened (knock on wood)...but at least nothing too dangerous. Like the other day for example, while I was waiting for a ride, these two 'technically' male individuals came up and were apparently waiting for a ride too. It was one of those awkward situations when you try to pretend that you don't notice that they are staring and they get blabby and loud and stuff as if they were'nt two feet away from each other. Eventually, a cab came and they rode first then they invited me to go with them. Swimming daw. Of course, I politely declined (like it'll be a cold day in hell before I'd get into the car with those guys!!!). So they left and I waited for my ride and that was that.

These things happen to me somewhat frequently, even at day time. Like helllooo! Do I look gay or something?(uhm...don't answer that). But I don't get it... do I have special pheromones or something that attract the male of the species? Some people say it's because of the way I dress, some say it's how I act (they didn't expound further), others say it coz I don't seem to be close(in an intimate way) to girls and my ex said it maybe because of the way I stare(ngek!). Oh brother...I don't really care...I just wish they would just stop pestering me coz they'd just be wasting their time and scaring the heck outta me.
But if it were from a girl, then that would be a different story. Though it doesn't really happen that much save for the few times my friends make jokes with me. It's more believable from a stranger I guess. Not that It happens that much to me, just wished it did...at least I'll be flattered for about 5 minutes rather than feel (no adjective has yet been formed to describe the feeling). Though I admit it's still a bit flattering coming from a guy...just pointless that's all.

But as a guy, I don't think I could ever hit on a girl... I'm probably not the type to spark an interesting conversation(pick-up line) in some bar to some gorgeous femme fatale. Heck, I even have this ability to end conversations before they start...much to my disadvantage. Like some time on my sophomore year in college, I was seated next to my ...ehem...current 'crush'(not my crush yet at that time though), and she said maganda daw yung drawing ko or something like that. I didn't even give her a reply. I wasn't shy or anything...probabaly just unsociable...regrets regrets,hehe. Of course, I don't really believe in trying to use cheesy lines to get along with the girls. My closest friends also agree that they can't imagine me trying to do that kinda stuff, not my style daw (meron pala ako nun). I'll win them over daw with the little things...whatever that means. (note: little things might refer to jewelry...could be, could be)

Hehe, I've been talking so much that I forgot what it was that got me talking in the first place. It's a good thing everyone's asleep now and I've got no one to talk to as of now coz I'd probably bug them with endless stories and conversation with the mood I'm in tonight...which is rare. I don't usually open up much, though I don't think there really is much about me to figure out. But still, like everyone, I have my own secrets to keep..hehe. Though tonight I feel like the pandora's box is open...and I'm not drunk...I don't get drunk coz I don't drink... I just get into a talkative mood ever so rarely. So by tomorrow when I wake, I'll be back to normal and the lid still stays shut on the can of worms.

(2nd persona sets in...)

I feel so helpless right now. It's like I've messed up pretty bad and there's nothing I can do to fix it. When I was younger, whenever something was about to happen and it worried me, I'd just think far into the future and say "after tomorrow...it'll be yesterday"(<-it sounds so much more sensible in my head). I wish I could say that now and believe it...like I did back then. Before, when my life wasn't so imperfect, I was kinda jealous of people who had problems. Their lives seemed more real in a way and that mine was just a boring straight line. Well, I guess I got my wish...i sure ain't in a straight line no more... haha (but not haha funny). Right now, what I'm trying to think to myself is that... everyone has a past they'll try to overcome...this will be mine.