Pages from my memory for the past 24 hours...

Im getting ready for my boat trip to Cagayan de Oro with one of my older brothers and my younger brother. They're laughing coz I'm just bringing a nap sack of sorts and they can't believe that all my stuff could fit in there. Nonetheless, we make it to the pier by 7pm and we board right away, but my mom stays around the docking area coz she says she enjoys seeing us off (either by boat or plane). It's been a while since my last boat trip but I have no problems about it, actually quite relieved that we weren't taking the plane (coz i hate flying). Which is a bit funny coz I find out that my younger isn't too fond of boat trips...I guess that makes us even. I go around the boat as it leaves the dock seeing if it's got anything more to offer other than a live band and a bunch of canteens,...it doesn't. So I stay at the viewing deck instead and admire the view and the wind and how the boat slices through the waves making SSsssSSsss sounds. The only lights are from the moon and the city lights that slowly grow smaller by the moment. So I stay there filled with several random thoughts as i wait to see the city of my birth totally disappear into the night. I decide to hit my bunker by 11pm.

I wake up at 2am, and I am surprised to see that almost everyone is cozily sleeping. So I get up and go back to the viewing deck hoping that everyone else has decided to have the Z's. My prayers were answered...but i notice my older brother sleeping on the steel chairs of the lobby. I wake him to tell him he can sleep on my bunk rather than on those steel chairs or his economy class accommodations(me and my younger bro were in the tourist class) coz I wasn't planning to sleep anymore. He declines my offer after he explains that a bunch of kids were playing on his bed on the deck below. So, he went back to sleep on his "comfy" steel chairs...oh well.

I go back to the outer deck. The wind is chilly but it feels nice save for my dried-up lips. Everything is dark now, the only lights around are coming from the boat, almost seems like we are the last people on the planet. I remember how I've stared at the beach at night, thinking how the sea seems to stretch to endlessness. Right now, I am in that darkness, that endlessness. It's one of those moments when you realize how small you are in the universe but are overwhelmed by your own existence. I enjoy being alone for the moment for I honestly wasn't feeling lonely. For once, for a change, I wasn't wishing I was with someone to share that moment with. And I realize that I haven't really been alone with clear thoughts of my own, and it was a very welcome circumstance. I was glad there were no other voices, no ditsractions and no memories that invaded the sense of peace I found. Even my own head fell silent, I was just filled with the sound of crashing waves. For a moment there...I felt real. Then I was surprised coz I didnt realize I was singing...but i was. The songs just came one after the other...and I wasn't even really thinking about it...it just came. I wonder if that would've passed as a sort of meditation..ehe. But I was pretty sure I didn't bother anyone coz there really wasn't anybody around to bother, hehe. So I stayed out there...staring at the sea, singing like a fool for about three hours. Eventually...I decided to go back to my bunker. to my dismay, I dozed off a bit too much coz I was planning to see the sun rise. I guess you can't have them all...:)

...(to be continued)

I'm back at home, though it's kinda weird coz both of my parents are out of town. Will be meeting up with them this Friday at Cagayan de Oro, so I guess I basically have two more days of complete freedom here...sorta. Anyhow, I'm kinda annoyed at myself for having forgotten to bring my cellphone charger along. And since no one else has got the same old phone that i do, it pretty much means I won't have a cellphone while I'm here, hehe...stupid me.

So I've been spending my first few days here catching up on music videos and several other tv programs. So once again I find myself watching all those "reality" tv shows, it's kinda funny how it is that reality ever came to be what's on television in the first place. I realize now that as far as reality dating programs are concerned, it isn't really about romance or the search of that one true thing. Nope, nope. I realize that I find myself entertained not by the thought of two people finding out that they're meant for each other (that's actually the boring part), but by the conflicts ,incompatibility and absurdity of the match-ups...which usually is the case of what happens on the show. Face it, if everyone on the show was the perfect guy/girl...it would be too sappy for the general public to view on a regular basis. I think everyone else really just finds it entertaining that everyone else has problems too...makes them forget their own misery.

But then again, that's probably just me...

....

Last Wednesday, I went out with a couple of friends for dinner at some mediterranean restaurant. The food was good though I couldn't really pig out as much as I wanted, as shy as I am (;P). But after that, the night being young and all, we decided to have some dessert at Dessert Factory. I ate two cakes(medyo nawala na pagkahiyain ko nun), hehe. The conversation was light & fun and I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I thought I would be...which was good. After that, we still wanted to go around so we ultimately decided to go to a place called Mountain View and it was as it's name implied...on the top of the mountain...with a view. But man, what a view! It's been a while...and I've almost forgotten how beautiful Cebu can be at night. And there weren't that many people around, save for the few who were singing at the sporadic KTV huts all around the place. We tried to scare ourselves too coz several parts of the park weren't really well lighted and there was a really creepy feel to the place, but then we decided not too fool around too much coz the girl's footwear weren't built for running(if we decided to make a break for it). So we just decided to hang out and talk and admire the view and such. Got home at around 2am...which was a first for me being in Cebu, hehe.

....

I am broken. I realize, that finally...I am just like everybody else. But maybe someday, I'll remember...and I'll be real once again

The pictures are of the French woman and international model Laeticia Casta. She to me is absolutely the most gorgeous and beautiful woman on the face of the planet, which is why she was, is and will be the basis for the female lead in the comic story I've been working on so far (I have a rather extensive image archive of her in my room, hehe). Been at it for over a couple of years now, doing some research, looking for inspiration, some character & scene sketches and been trying to brainstorm on ideas and ideas of plots and subplots(aside from playing Diablo 2 in my room). I'm a bit excited yet I'm not gonna rush things...might get me a while to really find the time to draw my own first issue(libre lang ang pangarap). But at least I've finalized how I'm gonna start the comic and the background story which will be the basis of the whole comic.

Here are some of the characters I've thought up...still up for revisions for most of them though. Just a rough and hasty description of each.

Annaelle
She's a normal human adopted and taken care of by the main male lead character (Christian)as a sister after she loses her dad(civilian casualty) as a result of a messed up police gang bust. The story starts out with her being around 5-6 years old. But for the main part of the series, she'll be in her late teens.

The cop(haven't thought up a name yet)
The sole "human" survivor in the "messed up gang bust" aside from annaelle. As witness to the events of that day, he develops an obsession of hunting down the one other man present...blah blah blah. Though he's one of the top people in his field, he remains a loner by preference and doesn't really get along well with people (on either side of the law). But as the story progresses, he'll develop a unique relationship with the individuals he's hunting down and the other people he'll run up against because of them.

The good guy, bad guy tandem
They are people from the other side of the law (childhood friends), but ain't exactly evil. They sometimes have an uneasy alliance and truce with "the cop" to serve each others own purposes.

Annaelle's friends
More people whose live's will be affected when the s$#*! hits the fan.

the immortals

Christian(not his real name)
One of the main leads of the story. Good with the sword and a whole lot of other stuff. Part-times as a solo perfomer(guitar and vocals) and travels city after city on a bike to play at different bars. He beleives that he is the last of his "ancient order" and is overwhelmed by feelings of guilt for having been greatly responsible for their demise...but he'll soon find out he isn't really the last one...blah blah blah.

The Laeticia character
Belongs to the same "ancient order" and was formerly betrothed to Christian over there. Though her feelings are unchanged, honor dictates that he has to pay for his "betrayal" of his order(and other complicated stuff).

The main bad guy
The smart type. But filled with bitterness for having lost all his loved ones in the past. Resolved that his course of actions will somehow enable him to undo just that...and in his search for power, that power corrupts absolutely...blah blah blah. Tries to play a father figure to the laeticia character.

The other bad guy
Big, strong, deceptively quiet...and manipulative. Heads all "action-based" operations. Hates to play second fiddle to anyone and harbors a deep grudge against Christian(that happens especially when the guy tore your limbs off amongst other things).

The Baaad Girl
Her skill is arguably second to none. Extremely gorgeous(hot,hot,hot). A case of: look...but you better not get any ideas, hehe.

Other Immortals
A few handful of their like walk the earth, making quite a life for themselves. Some of them are like Christian, beleiving they are the last of their "order". But circumstances will lead them to discover otherwise...and they will have to work together eventually.

***

Well, that's all I'll talk about for now...it's kinda long already. maybe I'll make some sense about it some other time.

....


"...maaring bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay,
sana ay maabot ang langit....
Huawag kang mag alala, di ko ipipilit sa'yo..." -song torete, moonstar 88